A Night in Prayer

Last night I went to my friend Laura Lynn's with this nervous nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach. My intentions were to pray with her. You can read more about why here. But because of the distraction of how I was feeling, along with other distractions from the night, I left without one prayer.


Today I woke up with the same feeling. I had a text from my friend Brandon saying he would be praying for me today. I responded with, "Thank you. I am really struggling with fear." When I sent that, I hadn't really thought much about what I was afraid of. Not really sure what even made me label it as that. He encouraged me with the following verses: Isaiah 41:10,13. Romans 8:15. I John 4:18 Psalm 56:3-4. When I got home from work, I opened up my Bible and read them out loud. Tears filled my eyes and I realized I was paralyzed by my fear. I am not taking care of myself. I am not being asked how I am doing. I am constantly doing. I am serving others, pouring into others, and running myself thin. 


I am again learning a lesson from my friend Laura Lynn. We both have messy lives, but it's through each other's messiness that we learn so much about ourselves and God. She has been ordered by her doctor to exhaust herself and part of that is by staying up until 1am. Her friend Devin texted her asking how the "self-induced exhaustion" was going. I commented on how it was nice of him to see how she was doing, thankful that our friends are lifting her up during this time. It made me think though, "I don't have many guy friends who ask me how I am doing." Megan and I both agreed we don't have Christian brothers serving us like Laura Lynn does. We joked with her about how she is spoiled, because she is! But she deserves to be. We all know how spoiled and selfish she is, yet we still continue spoiling her like a puppy dog with that face you just can't say no to. She told us we needed to get some good brothers. And another lesson came my way. Am I giving my brothers in Christ opportunities to serve me? Or am I complaining that men in our community aren't stepping up while continuing to take on the independent "I can do that myself" attitude? I am fearful of being served. I am fearful of letting others take care of me. As a result, I am enabling those around me to be subject to passivity and keeping men from having the opportunity to lead. And I am remaining a victim of fear.  


Then tonight as I tried to sleep, I awoke to intoxicated college students outside my apartment being very indecent and disorderly. It went on for an hour, and I felt the need to do something about it. But I did not know what. I peeked out the window and saw that it was a bunch of guys, and automatically fear set in again. So after calling the police,  I prayed. And while doing so, I prayed for my selfish friend. :) I went to her blog to look up some specific things I could pray for and in doing so saw she was also having a sleepless night. In fact, she had just put up a post about it, titled Sleepless Awakening. I just smiled and thanked God for His sovereignty. He had me awake for a reason. And her as well. Although our circumstances for being physically awake were frustrating, He used them to awake our souls in prayer to Him. Continually amazed by our LORD!


Here is a stache'd picture my friend Brandy sent me at just the right time to make me laugh in the middle of my crazy night. This one is for you Laura Lynn. Hope it makes you laugh more than my 97 annoying Facebook notifications. :)