Just Gotta Have Faith

I am a worrier, a planner, and a control-freak. And as much as I hate to admit it, those personality traits don't tend to fit the "faith-filled Christian" bill the way I'd like them to. 

My impatience with certain things has gotten a little out-of-control lately, so I thought perhaps putting this "out there" in my little blogworld will help me to hold myself accountable ... and trust in what I know to be true ... that God's timing and plan for my life is PERFECT.

A few verses that I've been focussing on...

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."
 ~Ecclesiastes 3:11

...We cannot fathom what God has done. I love this. It blows my mind just to think about it. And if the Bible says that I can't fathom all that He has done, who am I to question that He has every detail of my life under control?

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." ~Proverbs 3:5-6

...I probably recite this verse in my head more than any other, and yet, how quickly and easily I forget to apply it to my life! Key words: TRUST and ACKNOWLEDGE. ...Someone pound that into my brain, please...?

And last but not least, the story of Elijah and the widow.
I have heard this lesson in Sunday school growing up, but it wasn't until now that I thought of that story in a different, more meaningful way.

In the story, God extended the widow's flour and oil each day so that there was just enough for one more meal (for the widow, her son, and Elijah). How difficult would that be to go through every day - not knowing if God would provide one more meal - over and over again? Why didn't God just give the widow sacks of flour and gallons of oil, for crying out loud!? (If I were the widow, that is what I would have been saying!)

In all seriousness though ... I think the answer lies in the fact that tough times, trying times, challenging times - make us more dependent on God. Without the hard times in our lives, we may never feel the need for God. (Sad, but true.) So perhaps this lesson in patience is much more than that ... it is a reminder that God is in control ... and that His grace is sufficient. 

God DID provide the flour and the oil for the widow, every day ... just in time. 

His blessings may not always come when or how we asked for them to come - but they will come. 

Just gotta have FAITH.

God Knows Just the Right Time

But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children.

Galatians 4:4-5

In our lives, so many plans are prefaced with conditions: when things get back to normal; now’s not a good time; if I get a raise; we are so busy; I don’t feel right about it… it’s a wonder anything ever happens at all! Depending on our circumstances, making any number of decisions can be agonizing. How can we know when it is best to act and when to wait? When will we know the right time?

Was the timing right for Abraham to obey and leave Ur or for Moses to head to back to Egypt? How about a carpenter named Joseph going through with a marriage to his young bride? Ecclesiastes 3:11 tells us, He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

In hindsight, these heroes of the faith made their choices at just the right time to fulfill a part of God’s plan. But at the time, unlike the writer of Ecclesiastes, “beautiful” may not have been their adjective of choice to describe their circumstances. Lacking any concrete evidence for the outcomes of their actions, they moved forward armed only with trust. In each case, their reward far outweighed any and all of their fears about the future!

Consider how salvation for all humanity was set into motion with the arrival of Christ at the right time. Jesus was born as a Jew under God’s law and yet was the only man who lived the law flawlessly. The Messiah’s sacrifice as the only perfect man was timed perfectly to redeem us as sinners under the law. Not only were we freed, we were adopted as heirs, sharing in Christ’s rich inheritance of all of God’s promises, provisions, and power.

With the weight of eternity in our hearts, having the faith to obey God can be a struggle. Trying to know which decision best follows His will can leave us paralyzed and indecisive. At these times, we easily forget God’s completely perfect record of faithfulness and love for us. Regardless of our circumstances, and our inability to see beyond them, we can always trust that God will always act at the right time!

Can't Get Over You

                                                        

I love the way You love like no other
It's got nothing to do with anything that I do
Time and time again You forgive me
So this time I choose to stay here with You

Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don't wanna lose this moment
Your love has covered me
And now I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I just can't get over You

Here in the arms of my Father
Only grace can be found
So I lay my fears down
Nothing is the same anymore
You've changed me from the inside out
Now my heart is beating and it's singing won't You...

Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don't wanna lose this moment
Your love has covered me
And now I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I just can't get over You

I can't get over You

I can't get over the way
Your love stays the same, oh Lord
I can't get over the way
Your love stays the same, oh Lord

Even through the good and the bad times
You stay the same
So my song will remain
Lord...

Hold me
Pull me just a little bit closer
I don't wanna lose this moment
Your love has covered me
And now I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I can't get over You
I just can't get over You

I can't get over You
I can't get over You
There's nothing I can't do
I just can't get over You

I can't get over You

I Am

The most essential gift you have to give is yourself. When you aren’t entirely true about that, you aren’t true. But we’ve all grown accustomed to committing dozens of little white lies about ourselves every day.

           

Except this man. He is Faithful and he is True.

           

Having given this some thought, perhaps we are better prepared now to understand why God answered Moses the way he did when he spoke from the burning bush. In the midst of the very unnerving encounter, Moses asks him, “Who are you?” God simply says, “I Am.” In other words, Me. Myself. An answer that is holy and full of integrity, wry and dumbfounding all at the same time. But it is the best possible answer he could have given. God is utterly himself.

Swift and Beautiful Through the Stormy Seas

No, this is not me announcing my journey going overseas anytime soon. Although the Lord could very well have that in His plans. Wouldn't that be big news, to find out at Intern Kickoff Weekend in April that I have been placed in another country! But for now, I am praying God will use me here another year. One of the biggest reasons I want to remain in country for now is because of the transformation in my own life which has occurred in just the past several months, and the many lives it has impacted around me in such little time. My friend Laura Lynn recently wrote me a little note of encouragement (I love these!) reminding me that I am beautiful and loved. She shared with me how she has witnessed my openness and vulnerability opening the door to so much healing in the lives of women in our community. I know I have a story of redemption that God has been using here and wants to continue using. So as my friend Laura Lynn has done (she inspires me), I have started writing a song. Now let me warn you, I don't know the first thing about writing music and I am just beginning to learn guitar. But as a good friend reminded me, God has given me a beautiful mind to express my feelings in worship to Him. So here is what I have so far. I hope those of you who read it will be blessed by the meaning behind it :)

You say your heart is getting harder?

It's been trampled along the way?

Just give it to the Potter

Now your heart is new wet clay

You say your heart is like deep water?

Cold and dirty underneath?

Give it to your Father

His love will cover it like a sheath

Chorus:

Broken, humbled

On your knees

A vessel for His glory

You will shine for all to see!

Swift and Beautiful 

Let your feet be

Tell others of your story

So He can set them free!

When you are still searching

Looking for His loving face

Seek Him in your hurting

And enjoy His saving grace

Temptation, you may fear it

Know the waters have been cleaned

You're new, filled with His Spirit

Now you are redeemed!

Chorus:

Broken, humbled

On your knees

A vessel for His glory

You will shine for all to see!

Swift and Beautiful 

Through the stormy seas

Tell others of your story

So He can set them free!

Swift and Beautiful

Let your feet be

Swift and Beautiful

Through the stormy seas

Lent: What are you willing to sacrifice?

Today is Ash Wednesday, marking the beginning of Lent. I’ve heard of Lent before, though I’ve never really observed it in a sacrificial way, never having done anything special to celebrate it. If you’re like me, you’ve never fully understood what Lent is all about. If so, I’d like to refer you to two sources. One is a blog entry from a very wise man, Bill Dogterom. Click here to read more about how he explains how we can prepare ourselves for this season. Another source is a 2 minute video I found that puts it very clearly, marking out what Lent is all about. You can watch it below:

Extreme poverty is when someone lives on less than $1.25 a day and lacks the means to meet minimum standards of food, clothing, health care, and shelter. Today, one in every five people lives on less than $1.25 a day. Around the world, 14,000 children younger than 5 die every day from hunger and related causes.

I try to see the faces behind the statistics, and families that starve to death, while I live a comfortable life despite living below the national average income in America. This Lent season, I've decided to do something about it, and play my part. The picture at the top is a picture of some of the food I am going to live on for the next 40 days, costing me just about $1.25 per day. My goal is to at least sacrifice what I spend on food and how much I eat, and give the remaining money to the poor. During these next 40 days, I will sacrifice my daily bread, while spending time in prayer with Jesus, who is our spiritual bread - the bread of life. I’ll be praying for those in extreme poverty as I eat what most in the world typically live off of: rice, beans, lentils, and other basic necessities. 

I know what a lot of you are thinking..."But didn't you just do this same thing for 21 days with the Daniel Fast?" My answer is NO! Yes, I spent 21 days fasting and in prayer. A lot of this time was a sacrifice for myself. This is a sacrifice for others. 

But the sacrifice of food is not enough to make a real difference. Therefore, I will take the money that I would normally spend on food, and donate it to those in extreme poverty. I am going to donate through World Vision to certain areas of need. For instance, $75 will buy a goat for a family or village, $25 will buy two chickens, and just $35 can purchase up to $385 worth of medical supplies to sick children. 

Some of this money will also be saved for the upcoming summer projects my friends in Cru will be participating in this summer, where they we be able to share Jesus, the bread of life, with those who have never tasted it before. 

Just imagine if we all made small sacrifices for the world’s poor, both physically and spiritually. We can make a difference together. Will you join me?

Find Your Joy

She curls her toes over the edge of the diving board and peers into the water below. Polka-dot bathing suit. Pink goggles. Pink rubber bands holding soggy pigtails in place. She's not exactly the picture of courage but just when it seems she's going to back down...she grins and instead leaps up, up, up and over the edge.

JOY is a powerful motivator. And it always trumps fear.

We know that as kids. But somewhere along the way we forget how much it's true. We start believing life is serious business and getting rid of fear requires intensity and determination.

Not always.

Sometimes it's as simple as rediscovering our joy, embracing our passion, taking the hand of the Good-Gift-Giver and daring to follow him over the edge.

What do you really love?

What makes you feel joy in a way that nothing else does?

Where do you feel God's presence more than anywhere else (because where he is, joy is too)?

When fear tells you to turn back--to stop following that dream, taking that step, making that difference--run toward joy.

Because, here's the secret, fear has a fear of joy.

And it won't dare to follow you when you jump heart first over that edge.

Daniel Fast (Day 21) Finished...yet just begun!

There was Peter’s threefold denial, Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness, and my battle with chicken buffalo dip on Super Bowl Sunday during my 21-day fast: these are the great crisis moments in recorded church history. Thankfully, Jesus escaped the temptation, while I faltered having been lured to the brink of punishment in hell by that addicting dip. Though I failed in my twenty-one day fast (aka my “grace day”), the good news is that I never sinned, because eating buffalo chicken dip doesn’t transgress any moral laws at least in this corner of the universe. To me, this is the beauty of fasting.

While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them” (Acts 13:2). Fasting is a practice deeply grounded in God’s Word and one that I now encourage others to participate in. Finding a biblical precedent for fasting is easy, while finding a passage that explains its purpose is not. Like the tassels on the High Priest’s garments, I’m sure they serve a God-ordained function. What I have learned about fasting has primarily come from doing it and noting its spiritual value. These are the things that I have learned over the past 21 days:

First, fasting seemed to create habits or triggers of reliance in my life. My hunger, which normally arose every 5 or 6 hours, became acute every 5 or 6 minutes when I was fasting, and hunger was my trigger to turn to God for strength, or at least I used it as such during my fast. Of course a tragedy in my life accomplishes the same thing, but fasting creates this necessary environment for reliance without the nasty side effects of inoperable brain cancer or the loss of a loved one. While I’m fasting, all day long I call out to God, for strength, endurance, self-control, empowerment, and wisdom, which in fact, should be normative for a Christian, but in reality is now how we always react.

Second, is what I would call “practice choices.” When I fasted, my flesh, in a very persuasive way, demanded to be fed, and throughout the day I continually had to tell it, “No, you can’t eat, so stop your whining.” It is the same fleshly dynamic of sin and temptation, particularly lust. The only difference is that if I stumbled during my fast and gave in to the terrorist demands of my flesh, I have not compromised myself morally.

Through fasting, self-control was cultivated, and I habitualize said “no” to my flesh. It’s like a full day of practice in preparation for game day. Food is life and my umbilical cord is definitely tied to the kitchen. When I fasted I was snipping the umbilical cord, which caused me to go to God for greater life in order to compensate for the life I am now denied. Many things impart life to us. Some of them are God-ordained sources. Other sources are not necessarily sinful but deriving too much life from them, rather than God, does damage to our souls. The godly man or woman aware of this dynamic is willing to pull the umbilical cord where and when it needs to be pulled. Fasting is a spiritual discipline that made such suicidal choices (which paradoxically leads to deriving greater life from God) a regular part of the past three weeks.

When I fasted I was weak, and when I was weak I was humble. Fasting gave me a firm grip on my smallness and lack of omnipotence, as opposed to coffee, which makes me feel fast, smart, and competent (unless I were to drink coffee when I was fasting which I’m pretty sure would have made me delusional). Humility is not low-self esteem but an accurate perception of my finite nature. Humility magnifies my need for God and always leads me to Him. Fasting is a helpful aid in humbling oneself before God.

Third, fasting is a plea for help, a red flare sent up from the soul for a specific reason or cause. I fasted because I was in distress and desperate for God. But I did it with the caution that I was not attempting to manipulate God or make Him care more than He does. I wasn't holding by breath in blueness until I got my way. Fasting was a vehicle allowing me to spend my passion and desire for deliverance, and I chose it instead of manipulating, yelling, or whining (although through it I feel I complained and whined a lot).

There is a lot I do not understand about the practice of fasting, or the tassels of the High Priest, but I have derived enough from its discipline within these past 21 days to know this will not be the last time I put this discipline into practice. That is why I am choosing not to end it completely. Each week from now until the end of this semester, my friend Laura Lynn and I will be fasting from one specific thing. This week she chose coffee and although I am not a heavy drinker, I am choosing to fast from it as well. This is a chance for us to continue humbling ourselves before the Lord and doing it in a context of community, where accountability and encouragement can point us to Christ in our weaknesses. Both of us have been accepted to intern with Cru this upcoming year. We have already experienced many trials and suffering along the way. We know the enemy is only going to be attacking harder with our commitment to full-time ministry. Please keep us in your prayers as we put on the full armor of God each day and fight for Love. I will continue posting as regularly as possible about our semester-long fast and the journey of our swift and beautiful feet, which God has commanded us to use in order to spread the Gospel. Here we are Lord, send us! 

Laura Lynn and I at Preview Weekend for CRU Staff

You can follow Laura Lynn here.

Daniel Fast (Day Twenty-Broken)

BROKEN. That’s how I have felt lately. Just like my broken clay pots. I’m a lot like those broken vessels. My life may look “good enough” on the outside, but my heart still has broken places in it that can never be fixed.

We all have those broken places in our lives where bad things happened to us.  Or maybe things didn’t turn out like we had planned.  Maybe we have been disappointed by something or someone.  Maybe we have things in our past that have left scars on our hearts.

But here is the good news:

Beautiful things can grow in broken places.

God is growing beautiful things in me. Beauty has sprung from my broken places. In my broken places, I have found a better perspective of what is truly important in life. I have found a deeper walk with Christ. Only Christ can bring beauty from our broken places. But we have to let Him. We have to trust.  We have to pray.  We have to hide His word in our hearts.

I love 2 Corinthians 12:9, 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness (brokeness).” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses (brokeness), so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

God’s love can be made perfect in our brokeness.  Praise HIM!

We all are broken, aren’t we?  Some of us have little cracks in our lives and some of us have big gaping holes.

My prayer is that we would allow Jesus to grow beauty in our broken places.

Daniel Fast (Day Eighteen-Broken)

(February 9th, 2012)

The Word tells us in Isaiah 64:8, Yet O Lord, You are our Father. We are the clay; You are the potter; we are all the work of Your hand. As I mentioned in my last post, I feel like God is using my current work with clay to identify more with this picture of who we are in His hands. I envision God, the Potter, sitting at the wheel, with me as the shapeless glob of clay spinning out of control with no structure...spinning, spinning, spinning - no real direction or purpose. Then the Lord sets His loving hands upon me, firm but gentle. No longer spinning aimlessly and out of control, the rough edges begin to smooth out. As I begin to take shape with a solid foundation and a bit of structure, He releases the firm grip and exchanges it with the loving touch of His finger in the center as if pointing to the core of me to say, "You are mine and you will be formed to serve my purposes." With His finger touching on the center and the core being exposed, the junk that is inside has no place else to go but to be purged out.

These past three weeks have been like me being on a throwing wheel, in more than one way. I have been eating a lot differently, so naturally my body has gone through a detoxification process. Most food is contaminated by various ingredients deemed unnecessary for human life, such as flavor enhancers, food coloring, and artificial preservatives. My body has been cleansed from such toxins and restored to a more natural state. The same can be said for me spiritually. I have been experiencing God in a more intentional and intimate matter, so naturally my heart has gone through its own cleansing. Most of our nature is contaminated by various ingredients deemed sinful and therefore a hindrance to having a Spirit-filled life, such as toxic thoughts, unhealthy values, and selfish motives. My heart has been cleansed from such toxins and restored to a more pure state. 

In the picture above the unnecessary clay has been pulled out from the center and laid aside. Christ did the same for us when He took on our sins and laid His life aside. With that one time it was finished. All my sin has been taken on by Him for eternity and I am His. I'm so thankful the Lord is continually exposing me and cleansing me from my junk so I can better serve Him!

Daniel Fast (Day Seventeen-Broken)

(February 8th, 2012)

A broken vessel. This was the result of my attempt to construct a beautiful Jomon clay pot tonight for my ceramics class. After completing one fairly easily, I went on to begin another. This time, it was much more difficult. The clay wasn't the right consistency. It was too dried and only crumbled in my hands. I added water to soften it, just as I did for the other, but for this one it was not working. After almost an hour, I had only built up 2-3 inches. Normally, my patience helps me slowly work with the clay and back off when I need to. But tonight, the clay and I just weren't communicating well. I wanted it to stand up and it wanted to just fall over. Eventually, it laid on the table in several pieces. The clay had resisted the shape I wanted it to take.


Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8


Just as I desired for the clay to submit to me, The Lord wants us to submit to His providence. The first lump of clay I worked with was totally, unconditionally, passive in my hand. It gave no resistance. The same happens when we come to peace with God; then we become as clay in the hand of the Potter, making no resistance to whatever the Lord will make of us. When we are unconditionally surrendered to whatever the Lord will make of us, we find peace.


A lot of times we aren't like the first lump of clay. We instead resist the Potter, stubborn and wanting to control how we are shaped. Sometimes God sends us trials to mold us. The Lord said His ways are higher than our ways. His revealed purpose in Isaiah 55:7 says, Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

That purpose is so simple and so pure. It is that our hearts return unto the Lord; we are to stop cleaving to the things of this dust. Truly, as clay in His hands, without any resistance or attempts to dictate or form the vessel, we are to let Him do the forming. He is the Potter. We are to return unconditionally, surrendering our will to His. Then we also have the reward: he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

Daniel Fast (Day Sixteen-Broken)

(February 7th, 2012)

Some have been easy. Some have been challenging. Some days I've succeeded. Some days I've failed miserably. This is what I think of when I think of the past sixteen days. The truth is I have failed not only a couple times, but each day. And I have this preconceived notion that on day 22 I will succeed. Because I have dedicated 21 days to fasting and prayer and that is the perfect recipe to fix myself.

The thing is, I will never be fixed while here on this earth. I am broken and that is how God wants me. I fail each day on my own because I am not supposed to do it on my own. I fail so that He can give me the strength. I am tempted to cut corners so that He can show me He is the Only Way. I am terrified by nightmares so that He can be my comfort. I am out of energy before I even wake up so He can sustain me. I am uncertain about the future so He can show me the plans He has for me. I am discouraged by conflict with others so He can encourage me with the community of the Church. I am tempted by desires of this world so He can show me He satisfies. I am left feeling lonely so He can wrap me in His loving arms. I am overwhelmed with my to-do list so that I can spend more time with Him. I am scared when sharing my faith so He can speak through me. I am heartbroken hearing other girls' struggles so that I can use my testimony for His glory. I am convicted when I am prideful so that He can humble me. I am tempted to seek revenge so He can prove He is the only Judge. I am broken so He can forgive me. I am broken so He can use me. I am broken so I can die to myself and follow Him.

God has shown me just how broken and in need of Him I am. In some ways, I am more of a mess than I was sixteen days ago. The tension that has been building up in my heart and has finally been released. My heart is broken and that isn't always the prettiest sight to mankind. But to God it's absolutely beautiful. I am humbled before Him with my hands open, laying it all down. That is exactly where He wants me. I am His broken vessel.

I don't want to be "fixed" at day 22, or day 222. I want to continually be in need of my Jesus. There is comfort in knowing I will always be failing on my own so that I can trust Him. Christ has redeemed me and used my failures to make them His victories. I am redeemed. He is significant. I am nothing without Him. Without Him nothing about me is relevant.

A Betrayal of Love

Can you imagine if on your honeymoon one of you sneaked off for a rendezvous with a perfect stranger? Adam and Eve kicked off the honeymoon by sleeping with the Enemy. Then comes one of the most poignant verses in all Scripture: "What is this you have done?" (Gen. 3:13). You can almost hear the shock, the pain of betrayal in God's voice. The fall of Adam and Eve mustn't be pictured as a crime like theft, but as a betrayal of love. In love God creates us for love, and we give him the back of our hand. Why? Satan gets us to side with him by sowing the seed of doubt in our first parents' minds: "God's heart really isn't good. He's holding out on you. You've got to take things into your own hands." And Paradise was lost.

Yet there was something about the heart of God that the angels and our first parents had not yet seen. Here, at the lowest point in our relationship, God announces his intention never to abandon us but to seek us out and win us back. "I will come for you."Grace introduces a new element of God's heart. Up till this point we knew he was rich, famous, influential, even generous. Behind all that can still hide a heart that is less than good. Grace removes all doubt.

Daniel Fast (Day Twelve - Exposed)

Lately I've been looking at this fast as more of a duty that I can't wait to be over, rather than a privilege I never want to end. When I began I was so excited about having an opportunity to spend 21 days walking so closely with the Lord. I thought of Central Asia and how I had to rely on the Holy Spirit and my time with the Lord just to get through the day. I wanted the intimacy I felt with Him while there. What I forgot about was how painful that journey was and it wasn't all flowery. It was a constant battle. The past twelve days have been a battle. Some days I put on the armor of God and fight. Sadly, other days I give up before I get out of bed. But no matter what my attitude is, I take confidence in the fact that I can never be defeated with Christ.

This battle takes perseverence and the right attitude. I admit that lately I have had a very sour attitude towards this time. It's evident in many areas. I've not been relying on the Spirit, but my own strength when it gets tough. I've never truly felt abandoned by God, because my faith simply will not allow me. But I can relate to the feeling those who have felt that way experience. I know that it's actually the opposite though. It's because we abandon God. I haven't been seeking Him faithfully.

What is it that is robbing me from pursuing Christ as I should? I could name off several things. But there is only one word to sum it up. SIN. It's an ugly word that we don't like to use. So instead we call it distraction, lack of time, temptation, selfishness, peer pressure, or simply no desire. In reality, those are all the same in God's eyes. SIN.

Hebrews 4:13 says, And no creature is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes, and He is the one to whom we are accountable.

When this verse was presented to me last night I automatically thought of those who I know have hidden their sin and betrayed those I am close to. It didn't take very long for God to pull at my heart and say, Hey you are just as guilty! Although my actions and thoughts may not be as obvious or exposed, or in my head as extreme, there is nothing that is not manifest in His sight. There is no being who is not wholly known to God. And when you put it that way, one can react in two ways. Either in fear because they are disobedient and convicted of the sin they are hiding, or they are comforted by the fact they don't have to (and can't) keep things from God.

Who would wish the world to read all their thoughts and feelings for a single day? Who would wish their best friend to look in upon their naked soul as one looks into a room through a window? Not I. And yet God already does. He reads every thought; sees every feeling; looks through the entire soul. How careful should we be to keep our hearts pure; how anxious that there should be nothing in the soul we aren't willing to have known!

Our account; our reckoning is to be with Him before all is naked and open. We cannot, therefore, impose on Him. We cannot pass off hypocrisy for sincerity. He will judge us according to truth, not according to appearances; and his sentence will be just. A man who is to be tried by one "who knows all about him," should be a pure and holy man.

I want to strive to live a lifestyle that causes me to react with a thankful heart to God's all knowing power. God understands our thoughts, feelings, and plans distinctly. When I don't understand myself and my girlfriends can't offer me any clarity on my craziness, God can. He knows how I am feeling about this fast. He knows the sinful thoughts I have. He knows the emptiness and weak areas of my heart. He knows I have been unfaithful to Him. He knows I have been disobedient. He knows I haven't had the best attitude. He wants me to seek Him with all my sin and be exposed - and forgiven! The truth of verse 13 is then followed with grace in verses 14-16,

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

All that I have ever felt and ever will, He has experienced and been tempted by. Yet He is perfect and without sin. There is nobody else who has experienced all and overcome all. I need Him to know and I need His mercy and grace. This is my prayer.

If you’re broken, and falling down.
If your sin, has got you bound.
Bow your head, put your knees on the ground
And call to God. Call out to God.

Come boldly to the throne of grace.
Find mercy, find mercy.
Come boldly to the throne of grace.
Find mercy, find mercy, and grace.

If you’re empty, don’t care anymore.
If your everything just walked out the door.
Bow your head, put your knees on the floor
And call to God.  Call out to God.

Come boldly to the throne of grace.
Find mercy, find mercy.
Come boldly to the throne of grace.
Find mercy, find mercy, and grace.

You’ll find mercy, you’ll find love.
You’ll find grace flowing down from above.
Jesus know right where you are.
And he’ll walk with you right through the fire.
Yes, Jesus is there in your fire.

If you’re broken, and falling down.
If you’re empty, or sin has you bound.
Bow your head, put your knees on the ground.
And call to God.  Call out to God.

Come boldly to the throne of grace.
Find mercy, find mercy.
Come boldly to the throne of grace.
Find mercy, find mercy, and grace.

words & music by Jimmy Workman, © 2007
based on Hebrews 4:14-16

With All Your Heart

The heart is the connecting point, the meeting place between any two persons. The kind of deep soul intimacy we crave with God and with others can be experienced only from the heart. I know a man who took his daughter to dinner; she was surprised, delighted. For years she had been hoping he would pursue her. When they had been seated, he pulled out his Day Timer and began to review the goals he had set for her that year. "I wanted to burst into tears and run out of the restaurant," she said. We don't want to be someone's project; we want to be the desire of their heart. Gerald May laments, "By worshiping efficiency, the human race has achieved the highest level of efficiency in history, but how much have we grown in love?"

We've done the same to our relationship with God. Christians have spent their whole lives mastering all sorts of principles, done their duty, carried on the programs of their church . . . and never known God intimately, heart to heart. The point is not an efficient life of activity-the point is intimacy with God. "You will find me," God says, "when you seek me with all your heart" (Jer. 29:13). As Oswald Chambers said, "So that is what faith is-God perceived by the heart."

What more can be said, what greater case could be made than this: to find God, you must look with all your heart. To remain present to God, you must remain present to your heart. To hear his voice, you must listen with your heart. To love him, you must love with all your heart. You cannot be the person God meant you to be, and you cannot live the life he meant you to live, unless you live from the heart.