There was Peter’s threefold denial, Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness, and my battle with chicken buffalo dip on Super Bowl Sunday during my 21-day fast: these are the great crisis moments in recorded church history. Thankfully, Jesus escaped the temptation, while I faltered having been lured to the brink of punishment in hell by that addicting dip. Though I failed in my twenty-one day fast (aka my “grace day”), the good news is that I never sinned, because eating buffalo chicken dip doesn’t transgress any moral laws at least in this corner of the universe. To me, this is the beauty of fasting.
While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them” (Acts 13:2). Fasting is a practice deeply grounded in God’s Word and one that I now encourage others to participate in. Finding a biblical precedent for fasting is easy, while finding a passage that explains its purpose is not. Like the tassels on the High Priest’s garments, I’m sure they serve a God-ordained function. What I have learned about fasting has primarily come from doing it and noting its spiritual value. These are the things that I have learned over the past 21 days:
First, fasting seemed to create habits or triggers of reliance in my life. My hunger, which normally arose every 5 or 6 hours, became acute every 5 or 6 minutes when I was fasting, and hunger was my trigger to turn to God for strength, or at least I used it as such during my fast. Of course a tragedy in my life accomplishes the same thing, but fasting creates this necessary environment for reliance without the nasty side effects of inoperable brain cancer or the loss of a loved one. While I’m fasting, all day long I call out to God, for strength, endurance, self-control, empowerment, and wisdom, which in fact, should be normative for a Christian, but in reality is now how we always react.
Second, is what I would call “practice choices.” When I fasted, my flesh, in a very persuasive way, demanded to be fed, and throughout the day I continually had to tell it, “No, you can’t eat, so stop your whining.” It is the same fleshly dynamic of sin and temptation, particularly lust. The only difference is that if I stumbled during my fast and gave in to the terrorist demands of my flesh, I have not compromised myself morally.
Through fasting, self-control was cultivated, and I habitualize said “no” to my flesh. It’s like a full day of practice in preparation for game day. Food is life and my umbilical cord is definitely tied to the kitchen. When I fasted I was snipping the umbilical cord, which caused me to go to God for greater life in order to compensate for the life I am now denied. Many things impart life to us. Some of them are God-ordained sources. Other sources are not necessarily sinful but deriving too much life from them, rather than God, does damage to our souls. The godly man or woman aware of this dynamic is willing to pull the umbilical cord where and when it needs to be pulled. Fasting is a spiritual discipline that made such suicidal choices (which paradoxically leads to deriving greater life from God) a regular part of the past three weeks.
When I fasted I was weak, and when I was weak I was humble. Fasting gave me a firm grip on my smallness and lack of omnipotence, as opposed to coffee, which makes me feel fast, smart, and competent (unless I were to drink coffee when I was fasting which I’m pretty sure would have made me delusional). Humility is not low-self esteem but an accurate perception of my finite nature. Humility magnifies my need for God and always leads me to Him. Fasting is a helpful aid in humbling oneself before God.
Third, fasting is a plea for help, a red flare sent up from the soul for a specific reason or cause. I fasted because I was in distress and desperate for God. But I did it with the caution that I was not attempting to manipulate God or make Him care more than He does. I wasn't holding by breath in blueness until I got my way. Fasting was a vehicle allowing me to spend my passion and desire for deliverance, and I chose it instead of manipulating, yelling, or whining (although through it I feel I complained and whined a lot).
There is a lot I do not understand about the practice of fasting, or the tassels of the High Priest, but I have derived enough from its discipline within these past 21 days to know this will not be the last time I put this discipline into practice. That is why I am choosing not to end it completely. Each week from now until the end of this semester, my friend Laura Lynn and I will be fasting from one specific thing. This week she chose coffee and although I am not a heavy drinker, I am choosing to fast from it as well. This is a chance for us to continue humbling ourselves before the Lord and doing it in a context of community, where accountability and encouragement can point us to Christ in our weaknesses. Both of us have been accepted to intern with Cru this upcoming year. We have already experienced many trials and suffering along the way. We know the enemy is only going to be attacking harder with our commitment to full-time ministry. Please keep us in your prayers as we put on the full armor of God each day and fight for Love. I will continue posting as regularly as possible about our semester-long fast and the journey of our swift and beautiful feet, which God has commanded us to use in order to spread the Gospel. Here we are Lord, send us!
Laura Lynn and I at Preview Weekend for CRU Staff
You can follow Laura Lynn here.
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